Be Kind to Your Future Self

I am finding that if I imagine being kind to my future self, I make more good-for-me choices.

A few months ago, I read Atomic Habits by James Clear. The author has studied the behavioral science behind how to break bad habits and encourage good habits. The “atomic” in the title suggests his approach—that making tiny (atomic) changes to our routines can pay off in big rewards later as the impact of those changes accumulate. It’s like the magic of saving modest amounts of money over time. He points out that many of us know the things that are good for us such as eating better, losing weight, exercising and putting money aside for retirement. Unfortunately, though, because the payoff is in the future, it’s hard to get motivated.

Helpful Principles and Examples of Behavior Change

James Clear offers four principles or laws to encourage healthier habits and four laws to dismantle bad habits. For example, it helps to establish good habits if you 1) Make it Obvious, 2) Make it Attractive, 3) Make it Easy and 4) Make it Satisfying. Bad habits can be reduced by using those principles in reverse.

He also offers many practical suggestions to make it more likely to do the desired actions. I have used some of his suggestions successfully such as brushing and flossing my teeth after dinner to avoid reaching for salty, crunchy snacks or sweets. I am more likely to exercise if I put on my workout clothes. I am especially excited with my success in breaking my COVID-induced, mindless tv watching habit.

Kicking the COVID TV Habit

I’ve reduced my tv watching by sitting at a different spot on the couch so that I look out the window instead of at the flatscreen. I have focused on increasing my book reading rather than on reducing my tv watching habit. I bring fun books in the house by visiting local little free libraries and my (now-open!!!) county library. Using the author’s principles, I made it obvious by identifying the habit I wanted to change and by putting the books in view instead of the tv.  Having enticing books around has made it easy, attractive and satisfying to read. By moving my seat on the couch and not having the tv in my direct sight, I’m no longer motivated to watch television unless there is a specific show or movie I want to see.

Be Kind to Your Future Self

Most importantly, I have begun to see my less-than-desirable behaviors as simply habits (that can be changed) instead of signs of moral weakness. Shifting the self-judgment has made a huge difference.

While I like the principles that he uses, I have boiled it down to a pretty simple concept: “Be Kind to Your Future Self.” I have started thinking about my future self as a friend or loved one that I want to treat well. At night, when I am tempted to leave the dishes in the sink until morning, I pause and think how much more smoothly my next day will begin if I wash dishes now. I smile as I imagine my happiness coming into a clean kitchen first thing in the morning as I go to put on the tea kettle. I am now applying this one simple question from everything to creating a to-do list for the next day, to trying new heart-healthy recipes to folding my laundry instead of leaving it in the dryer. I invite you to play with this question, “How can I be kind to my Future Self?” and see if it makes a difference for you, too.